Posted by: PMA | November 21, 2010

Guess who’s back…

Guess who’s back. Thank you Godzilla for filling in.

In these testing times, humour is alive and well at MICA. If you know someone who said something awesome and think we should know about it too, write in to us. If you hadn’t thought of that before, well, now’s a good time to start.

More everyday ditties from some of the most celebrated people on campus:

  • I want you to remain a virgin till the time we do it.”
    – One of the Sankalp trio this year about the shroud of secrecy over the play. We leave it up to you to guess which one.
    Hint: Play mast hai. Try karega?
  • “Achcha hua partition ho gaya.”
    – The raunchy incarnation of Kamal Haasan, Abhijith Shetty, about the only guy with more experience in PGP-2, Ashutosh Wadhwani.
  • “Agar duniya ka sara frustration energy ka source hota, to sun ki jarurat hi nahi padti.”
    Gaurav Puri discusses the alternate sciences.
  • “Sometimes I wish my life was one long musical.”
    Sukalyan Roy proves that it’s not just the Bengali-ness that binds our resident Johnny Bravo with the porn poetess Ankita Biswas.
  • “Actor ke andar ka director jaag jata hai jab usey kaam nahi milta.”
    – Langda Tyagi Nimish Dutt, explaining the phenomenon that we observe and commonly refer to as Bana-na-ness.
  • “Imagine Swarna’s kids saying – “Mummy I don’t know how to roll. Will you teach me?””
    Vivek Krishnaswamy is still suffering the effects of Rita Kothari’s classes.
  • “I am a sweet, simple South Indian girl.”
    Gayatri Kannan, after she swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
  • “I have so much alcohol inside me that I can give birth to liquor bottles.”
    Sabitha Sudarshan in her inimitable style, elucidates her euphoric state.
  • “I won’t let you hold my stick.”
    – The otherwise stoic QuotesMeister has been known to get sentimental from time to time, and this time it was with Nikhit Shetty. I’m sure you understand his emotions.

Before we wrap this one up, a doff of the hat to Rohit Prem Mani for being.

Posted by: PMA | November 7, 2010

Godzillus Anonymous…

Since our very own Pulpy Agent Orange was busy with Micanvas (Bahut Kaam Hai, remember), we invited a guest editor for this issue of Premature Articulation.

Bringing straight to you from the Godzilla‘a lair…

  • When I buy a jeans, I look for Lycra in it.”
    Anubhav Nanda’s sense of fashion is intact. At least on paper.
  • Vina Vani was a chapter in my life.
    Abhinit Agarwal planning a ‘Ek Thodi Bahut Choti Love Story’?
  • Bopanna, if you die and they bury you, there’ll be enough fossil to last 3-4 years.
    Vivek Krishnaswamy is a passionate environmentalist.
  • Ashutosh to wo Shakuni hota jo Duryodhan ko bhi dhokha deta.”
    Abhinav Krishna trusts
    Wadhwani with his life.
  • Mera jo bhi ukhadna hai wo main khud hi ukhad leta hoon.
    – No one messes with Ankit Akhauri but himself.
  • Abey samne phenk.. waha jyada backup hai.”
    Aashish Sharma, at the bowler’s end, skillfully guides Ashirvad Deb‘s throw from deep mid-wicket.
  • You know, for once, you could be awake and still not talk.”
    Kartikeya Malhotra is composed in offering Aditi Mediratta an alternative to the usual routine.
  • The greatest lesson you learn at MICA – kabhi ungli nahi karne ka.
    Abhijith Shetty‘s pearls of wisdom.
  • Status set kar le yaar… status ke bina kuch nahi hota!”
    Abhinav Krishna metaphorizes using social networking as an effective tool.
  • Tu jhand hai aur jhand hi rahega.
    Anshoo Grover condemns Aashish Sharma to hell.
  • I like Udit’s legs the best.
    Ankita Biswas, well, being herself.
  • Nikhit Shetty is so cute yaar!”
    Gayatri Kannan is religiously focused on trying to find everyone a job!
  • “MICA is a 5 star hotel. You can stay here for a night, but not for your whole life.
    Ramesh Krishnan T would rather spend that one night with Shakila.
  • I can smoke up and discuss this in the privacy of my room. Why do I need to come to the class?”
    Rohit Prem Mani will just not get out of his cave.
  • Meri sexy aankhon ko nazar mat lagao.
    Anshoo Grover, prior to signing the release for admission into an asylum.
  • Abey suno, aaj bahar jana hi padega. Mess me pau-bhaji hai.”
    Aashish Sharma, Messcomm Chief, is all for loyalty to profession.
  • Oye thandi aa gayi, behen ki l**di.”
    Gaurav Puri notices the cahnge in weather.

That’s all for now.
Until next time, we’re watching your words…

 

· “When I buy a jeans, I look for lycra in it”- Anubhav Nanda’s sense for fashion is intact.At least on paper.

Posted by: PMA | September 6, 2010

Bringing Up the Rear…

We’re back…

  • “Jo pyar achanak aata hai, wahi sachcha pyar hota hai.”
    Ramesh Krishnan, revered figure at MICA, which is not doubt down, to his last name and his deep connections with the Mallu MiMafia, so when he talks about love, you better listen because no one can tell where the baby elephant’s been.
    Now you know who to beware of at the party. 🙂
  • That Rohit Prem Mani is Sindhi is a common fact. He proved it to us before the Fresher’s with this one:
    “I think I’m going to buy my date socks.”

    To which our resident Chirosaurus replied:
    “Who is your date? Dobbie?”

    Set me free suddenly had a new meaning for Mani.

  • Now-Routine-Ankita-Biswas-Quote:
    “I got molested by an acid bug.”
  • “I was very drunk last night, and the next thing i remember is having muscle pain!”, Sahil Chopra after one of the parties.
    It is called a hangover, Chopra. Nimbu Pani try karega? Mast hai. *wink to Akhauri, who has another quote in this edition.
  • “Saying marijuana is illegal is like saying peace is illegal.: – ShriShri108BadejiMaharaj Gaurav Puri making his stance clear.
  • “Main bachpan mein saare quiz jeeta karta tha…”, says a dejected Akhauri after yet another unsuccessful evening at the MQC.
  • To bring this edition to an end, we would like to just take this opportunity to say, that even though Aircel and Dhoni would like you to save the 1411 tigers in India, we, along with our brand ambassador C. Yamini Krishna implore you to “Save Nikhit Shetty! There’s only one left.”
    Can we have the hat when you die? Pretty please?

Jo pyaar achanak aata hai, who saccha hota hai.

Posted by: PMA | July 31, 2010

Selling Out!!!

  • This edition of Premature Articulation reveals the one secret that our lot has wondered about.
    Nikhit Shetty has always been er.. rather, different. But he always delivers on the entertainment. Hatboy tells us a lot or very little, proclaiming – “I wish I were a pretty girl, so I could touch myself in the shower.
  • Ankita Biswas‘ appearance on PMA is now as frequent as her falling in the dark. Clearly casting her lot with the capitalists, Biswas says – “I don’t fraternize with my chauffeurs.”
  • The MCSA is here. Stand up, pay attention.
    After many a fires fought and credits sought, Bapu has had it upto here with it. Finally, tired of worldly problems, looking for a way out, he was last found asking – “Kisi ke paas blade hai kya?
  • With our readership falling with every issue, we sold out. Featuring on this edition of PMA – Taaze.
    Wise beyond his years, Taaze, when asked to summarize the ‘Aww..’, he said, rather philosophically, “ ‘Awww’ koi shabd nahi, ‘awww’ ek soch hai!
  • Also featuring here, Akshay Shankarnarayan Karanth. Ajunta, for fans of brevity and the (D)ude, when asked to, in a sentence, sum up the vision statement of Amaltas. Ajunta, in inimitable style, replies – “Is hostel mai…abey..is hostel mai…kuch apna hi bhikharipana hai!
  • When we said we sold out, we meant it. Anshoo Grover, yes, we’ve got The Machine in for this one to arrest the fall!
    Finally, demystified! Why is Anshoo Grover all that? He tells himself, and us, in MarkStrat class, as he frantically chants – “I love you Grover!
    Reminds us of a time when PAT and ChaCha were in class, and The Machine went – Sir, my name is Anshoo Grover, and I have a question!
  • This last one is Quotes Meister’s lame attempt at tabloid journalism.
    When asked by a girl, a certain Mr. Tewari of Lucknow replied – “I am always excited!
    Good god, QM. Maintain a standard, will you?

That’s all for this time.
Until next time, we’re watching your words.

Posted by: PMA | July 14, 2010

End of summer “blow”out !!!

After a brief hiatus while we resolved our mommy and daddy issues, we have returned to haunt your conversations. Presenting the best of internship.

We miss the parlour lady emails. We have a right to know if she’s on campus. Please, let us have this right.

Don’t be ugly, use parlour lady.

  • “Action to mujhe Delhi me bhi mil jayega; mujhe pyar chahiye.”
    Ankita Biswas, being herself. Jane – you have a new “batch” arriving soon.
  • “A common viral which all of us will start together… Something by which all our brands could be benefited.”
    – April 20th, 2010. Tanya Chadha is unable to contain her excitement as she unravels the biggest business convenience prospect mankind could foresee, since the wheel.
    (Contributed to this edition by Godzilla; this is probably his only contribution to mankind since the discovery of the Hewwwwwwwww.)
  • A conversation to savour:
    Peri“Kitni jaat hai be? Bhangi, chamaar, daliddar, maithar….”
    Beedi“Abey kitne dino baad suna yaar – Maithar!”

    Peri(in splits) – “Meri ma mujhe bulati thi!”
  • (Nearing the culmination of a hectic internship period, Arpeet Kumar is celebrating the fact that he spent very little time, energy and money on travel. Rohit Mani, inquisitive as ever, launches the Spanish Inquisition.)
    Rohit Mani“Why do you travel in second class in the local?”
    Arpeet Kumar“Because the train is empty as an….. ummm empty train!”
  • (What’s ‘it’?)
    Nikhit Shetty“I felt the same way about it as I feel about these computer games. Well, I always felt a little, you know, guilty about it when I was near puberty.”
    Ajunta (after some thought and in a concerned voice) – “Are you comfortable now?”
  • After a year of being Bapu’s room mate, Taaze is asked to discuss his findings on Micamail, during one of the spam wars during the internship, by none other than the original polestar:
    Setting: Your internship office.
    Mood: Screw you guys, I’m going home.
    Activity: Aimless googling, and arbit checking of micamail, facebook, twitter, orkut, zorpia, ibibo, whatevereleseyouidiotsareintothesedays.
    You’ve got mail. Commenting on Bapu’s sexy picture-

    Sahil –  “I might be wrong but isn’t Bapu looking like a really turned-on Harry Potter….???”
    To which comes a swift reply from one of the jobless fucks at Komli:
    Kanabar“I reckon that would mean Harry Potter looks like post-coitus Bapu.”

  • “Vada pao mast hai, try karega?”
    Ankit ‘Miss Benare’ Akhauri, endorsing the vada pao during the internship. Go on, try it. We wouldn’t dare.
  • “Oh, that.”
    Nikhit Shetty’s reply to Arpit Kumar when Beedi wished Shetty at 12am on the latter’s birthday. The hat is leaking, Shetty boi.

Until next time, we’re watching your words…

Posted by: PMA | March 24, 2010

Third “Leg” !!!

Presenting to you – PMA-3
An extensive record of verbal brilliance, mediocrity and faux pas at MICA.

  • “I so much prefer to look at a naked woman’s body than a naked man body.”
    Nilisha Bhimani, explaining to Sukalyan Roy the finer nuances of the human anatomy, albeit in certainly unusual fashion, but we don’t disagree.
  • “I agree, naked men are ugly. They do not have the contours.”
    Sukalyan Roy, replying, and letting to rest any doubts about his sexuality. You go girl, er, Suku!
  • “Oh, shit. QuotesMeister!”
    Ambreen Tyeb, also on the same table when the aforesaid conversation occurred, noticing the presence of yours truly.
  • “It’s like fruit salad!”
    Tanvi Gupta, replying to RK asking us if we knew what “assortment” meant. Also, by this act she condemned a certain inmate of Palaash to forever have the word ‘fruity’ incorporated in his last name.
  • “With all due respect, sir, I have not done my pre-reads.”
    Jasveen Kaur, telling Chacha that she didn’t do her pre-reads because she’s plain lazy, in her own inimitable style. Now you know why we do our pre-weeds, J.
  • “Kya chutiya team paayi hai maine!”
    Arpeet Kumar‘s on field lament over the ineptitude of his team, The Inglourious Basterds, MCL Champions, ’10.
  • “Sir, aap deodorant nahi lagate kya?”
    Sahil Chopra, to Rajesh Nair, after Rajeshbhai came sitting a little too close for Chopra‘s comfort during one of the exams.
  • “Are baap re! Itni saari ladikyan! Aur mujhse koi baat nahi karegi!”
    AbhiStar Gaur, on finding more women than he could handle in Hungary.
  • “You’re being reactionary!”
    Nikhit Shetty, to Mathew, about some random issue. Great way to keep the class interesting Shetty. Please provide us with more entertainment next year.

And to round things off we have a usual suspect…

  • “Arey yaar, Bill Gates ne g**d maar rakhi hai! Saala isko pehle se kaise pata chal jata hai?!”
    Anshoo Grover‘s public reaction to the launch of IE-8.0 which rendered an application developed by The Machine, useless.*
    C*ntributed by Amit NaTak.

Before we end, homage to the great Parlour Lady – “Don’t be ugly. Use Parlour Lady.”

P.S.: If you have any quip, line or jibe, that you feel deserves this space,
send it across to prematurearticulation@gmail.com
Your identity will be disclosed only if you ask us to.

Posted by: PMA | March 23, 2010

Second “Coming” !!!

  • “I would like to create a balanced menu.”
    – Academic Council General Manager Rahul Gupta, when asked what his agenda for MessComm was, by MICA’s resident restaurateur, sommelier and food critic, Udhav.
  • “Sir, do you think SET is going…. <irrelevant banter>, <irrelevant banter>, words like programming, content and market leader, more <irrelevant banter>, and <DCP>…so, what is SET going to do?”
    Mahesh Dilip Wani, during the SET presentation during summers, asking what is now being seriously considered by the Guinness Book of Worlds records for being the longest and the most irrelevant question in the world, leaving his indelible imprint on the process.
  • “But yeah, I have coffee!”
    Kaushik Subramanian, during his speech for the position of CR, when asked if he makes enough effort to get to know everyone in the batch. Strange question, stranger answer.
  • “Main uth jaaoonga yaar, I’m a machine!”
    Anshoo Grover, first night at MICA, when asked by Vivek Krishnaswamy why he was going to wake up at 8AM after going to sleep at 5.
  • “Arre Bapu chale gaye!”
    Ayaz Matin, former MICAn, declaring his distress at Baapu‘s higher consciousness.
  • “Arre, Baapu Dandi gaye hai, wapas aate hi hoge!”
    Arpit Kumar, consoling Ayaz that Baapu will return, someday. Someway. Somehow.
  • “My mind says 10 but my hand says 5.”
    Akshay Shankarnarayan Karanth, when asked about his sexual quotient.
  • “Because I have a car, and we can use the backseat.”
    Shubby Raj Yadav, when asked why he should be picked for a date.
  • “Fuck! The loos don’t have jets!”
    Vasant Iyer, expressing his disappointment at how inadequately equipped the Palaash loos were, and that he would actually have to reach to get to the deep and dark.
More irreverent nostalgia to continue at PMA. Please stay tuned.

P.S. Don’t let MDA spoil your pleasant summer evenings. Get laid.

Posted by: PMA | March 18, 2010

First “Blood” !!!

  • “Sir, I am Anshoo Grover, and I have a question!”
    Anshoo Grover – issued in public interest for general improvement of academic qualities of faculty at MICA.
  • “Are tera muuh hai ya underwear? Jab khula tab l***a hi nikalta hai!”
    Arpit Kumar, urf Beedi – commenting on Ajunta‘s ability to refer to his genitals in every other sentence.
  • “I contested just for kicks!”
    Kaushik Subramanian – explaining his candidature for the MCSA elections. Hope the backside feels alright, man.
  • “Can the question be pardoned?”
    Anshoo Grover – multiple offender. Please, please, please pardon the fuckin’ question! It’s served enough time under Anshoo anyway.
  • “My gender is a bit screwed up!”
    Ankita Biswas – explaining how she has trouble speaking Hindi. You decide what else is screwed up.
  • “Main Fuck banda hoon!”
    Amit Nayak, urf Potlu – need we say more?
  • “Stop hurting my lachrymal glands!!!”
    Ramesh Krishnan T, pleading to Vivek Krishnaswamy, in a whiny, nasal, maha-Mallu accent.
  • “Abey, suhaag raat mein bhi pair hi daalega kya?”
    Akshay Shankarnarayan Karanth, aka Ajuntha, to Aneesh Surender Madani, (Chief Blogger, RCB), after repeated deliberate padding by the latter in the MCL.
  • “It’s a healthy mix of both!”
    Vineet Kanabar, when Rohit Taneja asked him what kind of bowler he was – fast or spin. Taneja then proceeded to knock the living daylights out of Pimpoo‘s bowling.
  • “Bhati! CHILL!”
    Rohit Prem Mani, from the safe confines of the first floor, to Ankush Bhati when Bhati had a, well let’s say, ‘little scene’ in the TT-tournament with Manas Makani.
  • “I would have died!”
    Rohit Prem Mani, when asked what would have happened if Bhati had come upstairs.
  • “I would have died laughing!”
    Sahit Chirutapudi, when Mani proclaimed he would’ve died at Bhati‘s hands if he’d come upstairs.
Posted by: PMA | March 18, 2010

Welcome…

Quotes Meister & Agent Orange

are bored enough

to present

Premature Articulation

An extensive record of verbal brilliance, mediocrity & faux pas at MICA.

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